by Matt Weik
There’s going to be some humor in this article, so if you don’t want your humor bone tickled, don’t even bother reading this. But, if you are ready to be entertained and laugh at some of the stupid shit you hear in fitness magazines, you’re in for a treat!
We’ve all been there, tried that, read this, and believed lies and false information. If this information were online, we’d call it “clickbait.” But it’s in a magazine, so we simply label it as “stupid shit you hear in fitness magazines.” I’d say these dumb ideas and concepts are what put magazines out of business, but if that were true, the internet would be on fire and go up in smoke as well. Bottom line, don’t believe anything you hear below in fitness magazines, or you will be extremely disappointed. Now, for the humor…
1. Mr. Olympia Supplement Stack
If you think for one minute that an Olympia champion won a Sandow by taking a certain supplement stack, you’re a dumbass. I am hoping I’m not offending anyone here, but if I am, suck it up buttercup – there is no room for special snowflakes here. It’s time to toughen up and face the reality that “supplements” didn’t make a Mr. Olympia champion – none of them.
That protein powder, BCAA, creatine, and fat burner they are using might have helped a little bit, but these products would never be the “special sauce” to get you up on that Olympia stage in Las Vegas and be a real contender for the title. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this is just a piece of the stupid shit you hear in fitness magazines.
Now, could the four products I just mentioned help you reach your health, fitness, and physique goals? Absolutely. But keep your expectations in check. You won’t turn into the next Ronnie Coleman, Phil Heath, or Jay Cutler by simply using those four products alone. Some of you can probably read between the lines at what I’m getting at, and for those of you who aren’t, don’t worry about it.
2. Life-Changing NEW Diet
It seems like just about every month, regardless of what magazine it is, they showcase some new diet or diet trend to sucker people into thinking it will answer all of your woes regarding your stubborn body fat. It won’t. Here’s the fact of the matter, completely removing an entire macronutrient from the normal Americans diet is damn near impossible and yet another piece of stupid shit you hear in fitness magazines. It’s why so many people fail when it comes to diets.
Sure, people might give a new diet or trend a try and remove all carbohydrates or remove all fat from their diet. But what happens after a week or two? Temptations and cravings start happening, and before you know it, they have fallen off the wagon.
Diets are hard to stick to, and for that reason, you need to find something that you can implement into your lifestyle. When you completely change your habits, and they aren’t sustainable, you will eventually fail – it’s inevitable. And the bottom line and common denominator when it comes to diets is that they all have you in a caloric deficit each day so that by the end of each week, you should show some weight loss if you hop on the scale. There is no magic potion or hocus pocus diet that will work for everyone. It all comes down to what you can adhere to with your lifestyle.
3. Add Inches to Your Arms Day 1 with THIS Workout
Oh boy, how many times have you seen this in a magazine? This, along with nutrition advice and diets, seem to be the most prevalent stupid shit you hear in fitness magazines. If you think for even one second that you are going to be able to gain any number of inches to your arms with a workout, you’re straight bonkers – I’m talking space cadet. You might as well believe that eating Crayons can cause you to make some serious gains.
You WILL NOT gain inches on any part of your body the first time you do a workout. Heck, or the second, third, fourth… you get the point. Here’s where they trick you. If you measure your arms prior to your workout and then following a workout after you have an amazing pump, you will see a larger reading on the tape. However, give it a few hours, and your balloons will deflate along with your ego. That “gain” you think you’ve experienced is not actual lean muscle mass. It’s simply blood engorging the muscle and making it fuller thanks to vasodilation.
Adding inches to any part of your body will take TIME and DEDICATION. There is no quick fix or secret workout that only the underground people know about and aren’t sharing with people. You need to train hard and consistently overload your muscles. And more importantly, you need to have your nutrition dialed in. Not only will you fail if you aren’t eating enough calories, but you’ll also fail if you’re eating the wrong macronutrients to make up those calories.
4. Anything Matt Weik Says
Ok, this is a joke. But, it’s your turn. What is some stupid shit you hear in fitness magazines that drives you absolutely bonkers and question how it can even be published? Something that after you read it, you wish the editor and writer the worst case of diarrhea possible. Let us know in the comments or on social media. Let’s have some fun with this!